February 2, 2022 #5

Damn.... brain zap mania is setting in!  This is no fun.

I knew I was in for a rough ride coming off of Zoloft/Sertraline.  Every time I eat a meal now, it's smaller, and I wind up feeling nauseous, like I ate a whole buffet or something.  That was the case yesterday.  Chicken, corn and rice - a pretty innocent sounding plate.  But any meal right now makes me question whether eating is even worth it or not.  Gotta eat, though.

Janice and me went out yesterday and had to get some plastic film for the bedroom windows.  The last couple of winters we didn't really need that done, because the temperatures were only in the single digit minuses at worst.  Not so this year.  Wow.  And now another weather system is headed out way.  (!!!)

The ringing in my ears is increasingly getting louder, especially my right ear, which was always a little worse than the left.  I know that's part of the withdrawal symptoms after doing some research.  Same with digestive issues.  That explains me being sick last Friday, and my belly just hasn't been a well oiled machine lately.  It's getting tougher.  I'm feeling shakier, and my trouble at the gym the other day kind of denotes everything that's actually expected to go wrong with someone in my current position.  I knew this wouldn't be easy.  Articles that I've read mostly all say to stick with it, though, because it'll pass sooner or later, but it depends on the individual.  Seeing as I've been on SSRI's for the past 25 years, I'd side on the 'later'.  What I have on my side is time, though.

On the plus side, my spirits are up.  More than when I was in the middle of taking the meds, even, but I tend to get more emotional too.  I post things on facebook, like blog links, but I stay disengaged from it on purpose.  After this past weekend, I just don't feel like it's the right place to be spending too much time.  Instagram is bad enough.  

The Picture This blog is becoming a welcome distraction from everything, though.  I've just now finished editing and cleaning up over 100 photos from mostly the 80s, so I'm going to be keeping myself busy writing stories for each individual one.  It's quite gratifying.  It's even nicer seeing people respond to it so nicely.  It appears even that my mom's old couch could have its own fan club. That's the kind of interaction I like.  Just this morning, I've had to block two more strangers on Instagram with their 'tough guy' talk.  But such is social media.  Better to block that kind of guff and just move on than get my undies in a bunch.  

As I'm typing this right now, I feel like an electric mosquito bug zapper is swatting my brain, with a kind of 'wow' type effect.  That's what's hindering my sleep, mostly.  It's why playing with all those pictures is a welcome distraction.  I didn't realize how many pictures of my mom's dog Mitzi I had.  A lot of Mom herself, too.  And I was the king of selfies before selfies were even a thing.  Back then, anyway.  There's potentially hundreds of pictures to tackle, so I'll be keeping busy.

Definitely one thing I'm happy for is the possession of Utopia oil, that is, half THC, half CBD cannabis oil.  It calms me enough so I can sleep for three or four hours.  It's just that after it wears off, I'm back to being hopelessly awake for awhile longer.  Still, I'll take a hand up where I can get it, and it does give me that.  It would really suck dealing with this withdrawal without it.

So I made a prediction a little while ago saying that the Con leader Erin O'Toole would be replaced by loudmouth Pierre Polievre to help usher in Trump-style politics.  Well, as of a few minutes ago as I'm typing this, O'Toole's been pushed out, and all the talk is that Mr. PP will take his place.  I don't want to be right, but..........

Anyway.... THIS LINK will take you to a page that very much describes what to expect when coming off of Zoloft.  This is what I read last night, and I check almost all of the boxes.  Just in case you're interested enough to read this particular blog page and want to check it out to maybe understand it a little better.  I'm not looking for sympathy as much as understanding from those who know me and choose to engage with me in one way or another.  

Seeing as some of those symptoms match what I experienced at the gym the other day, I may just put off going back for a short while longer.  Stumbling around like some kind of drunk in a public place doesn't really strike my fancy.  I'll have to just take to playing my drums for exercise.  My chops are all out of whack anyway.  I'll get it back.  And have fun doing it.

That'll be all for today.  






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